A bridesmaid is someone special. A friend who is tried and true.
So I couldn’t imagine getting married, without including you.
Useful Tips For The Bridesmaid
Plan as soon as you can
The wedding may be twelve months away, but don’t be fooled. Get organised as early as you can so that you can keep stress levels low and have a bit of flexibility to deal with unexpected changes. First, get the contact details for all the bridesmaids and put these on a spreadsheet. Create a time-line of all events, from shopping for the dress (and additional fittings) searching for flowers, when you’re going round to the bride’s house to stuff the wedding invitations into envelopes as well as the date for the hen do, visits to venues and everything else.
This is the time to have lots of conversations with the bride and other bridesmaids to work out what the bride expects and what each bridesmaid will be doing. This will save a lot of unnecessary stress. If there is a Maid of Honour or Chief Bridesmaid, field questions through her so that the bride isn’t being bombarded by each bridesmaid individually. This will be good practice for the wedding day when the bride should be left to enjoy her day and not deal with any queries. This doesn’t have to be set in stone, the bridal party can split responsibilities any way they wish.
If at any point you’re unsure what the bride expects of you, ask for clarification. This will save everyone a lot of unnecessary stress. Decide which bridesmaid will be doing what and keep having conversations until it’s clear.
Being a bridesmaid is expensive so start saving and work out a budget for all the wedding related expenses. If your bride wants to go to Las Vegas for her hen night and that’s an expense you can’t afford, try and find another option before asking the bride to reconsider. You might find a great local restaurant and hotel for the celebrations.
You want to do your best, but don’t control the running of the wedding plans. This will upset the other bridesmaids and ultimately the bride. If you want to impress, be co-operative and try and get along with everyone. Have fun planning with the bridal party and don’t work so hard. If another bridesmaid or the bride remark that you’re being a bit overbearing, take the comments on the chin, apologise and move on. No pouting, no excuses, no complaints. And definitely no drama. If others attempt to create drama, don’t add oil to the flames. Keep sharing your ideas and being proactive and then everyone’s happy.
If the bride wants all her bridesmaids to wear the same style dress, it’s more than likely that one of her bridesmaids may not look as good as the others. The style may be unflattering, it may be in a colour you abhor. Since this is the only time in your adult life that you’re not making the decision about what you’re wearing that day, and it’s just one day – wear the dress. Agree to wearing the dress with a smile and with grace.
Trends in wedding hairstyles
The current trend for brides is to style their hair in a simple, polished updo which is a sleek hairstyle a bridesmaid can help the bride achieve. The aim is to make it look effortless, but you might want to do a couple of trial runs to get it right. If you don’t want it looking sleek, leave a couple of strands loose for a softer, more natural look, with the bonus that if the style loosens later it will look intentional. You can always add an elegant hair accessory if you want to be more elaborate or a flower crown for a more bohemian look.
Have her back
She’s going to get married – this is likely one of the most stressful processes she’s going through right now, trying to create a day to be remembered. Make sure that the bride knows that you’re both physically and emotionally there for her. Offer to go with her to dress fittings, venue viewings and more. Also, take time out to do something totally non-related to the wedding, something you would have enjoyed doing before she got engaged. At the same time, let her express her stress, fears and frustrations to you. She clearly values you as she’s chosen you to be part of one of the biggest days of her life, so bend with the pressure, don’t snap.
Vent your frustrations away from the bride
Most of the stress that brides feel comes from wanting to make sure other people are happy, and that includes you. If you’re getting frustrated about something, whether it’s the time taken up to deal with wedding duties or because of rising expenses, complain to someone who doesn’t know the bride. You’ll feel better for keeping your frustrations from causing the bride anxiety.
Emergency preparation kit
Be prepared for things to go wrong, but minimise the impact with an emergency kit to include pins, fashion tape, mints and other essentials she might need. Consider also the time of year. If necessary, include antihistamine for bee stings and insect bites, lotion for sunburn. The wedding day is a long day and early morning preparations and last minute jitters all burn up energy fast, so add some of her favourite snacks in the emergency kit.